Sensus Mutantes
by Quil Explodes
Summary: Five times Lily's feelings towards James changed. For Cuban Sombrero Gal's "Five Things" challenge in the HPFFC Forum.


**For Cuban Sombrero Gal's "Five Things" challenge in the HPFFC Forum.**

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* * *

  
I.**

"James!" Sirius hisses. "Look! It's Snivellus. What're you going to--"

"He's with _Lily_, Pads. I thought she _hated_ him. Since last year. Since he called her--called her--"

James fingers his wand in the pocket of his robes, waiting until Lily smiles at _him_, waves _him_ goodbye. A smirk spreads across his disgustingly greasy face as he sees how James is looking at him.

Quick as a Snitch, James's wand is out of his pocket and a spell is shooting towards Snape, and his hair is gradually growing, lightening, blushing pink with magic.

James ignores Sirius's short bark of laughter in the background, focusing all his attention on Snape, on Snape and the way Lily had smiled at _him_, the way Lily had cared about _him_.

But then Lily's turning back, and she's frowning at the commotion, frowning at Snape, immobilized, frowning at James, holding the wand dumbly.

And with a small flick, Snape is moving again, and with a small flick, his hair is normal length again, though still admittedly pink.

And James doesn't look at Lily but instead feels the hot rush of shame flood his face, wishes that his hair was long enough to hide his burning cheeks. He turns away. He turns away, doesn't gloat, doesn't laugh, doesn't taunt.

And since James isn't looking, he doesn't see Lily's frown turn from angry to thoughtful, doesn't see her gaze linger after him, questioning, wondering, thinking.

**--**

**II.**

James Potter lands roughly on the ground, a little less gracefully than he would prefer, but lands all the same. In a second Sirius is on top of him, and James winces as his bat smacks him in the face.

"Bloody hell, Padfoot! Watch where you put that thing!"

"You know you love it," Sirius responds, wriggling his eyebrows, eliciting a round of high-pitched giggles from the girls quickly surrounding them.

"James! That was a wonderful play you made, before, with the Quaffle and how Sirius blocked the Bludgers as you scored, and got past the Keeper just like that, you--"

James catches sight of Lily and Remus, both a ways away, slightly apart, both with almost the exact same expression on their faces, though Remus's is a bit more tolerant.

"Sorry," he says abruptly, shoving past Sirius and the girls and some boys, making a beeline for Remus, grabbing his arm, towing him away.

Only Remus sees the flicker of something across Lily's face, only Remus sees how her eyes follow them as they make for the changing rooms, only Remus sees how Lily looks as confused as James does.

**--**

**III.**

James, not surprisingly, is staring. Staring, one might add, at Lily Evans.

Not that this is anything new. Sirius rolls his eyes and says something to Remus about James-this-Lily-that-oh-_Merlin_-how-annoying.

But James can't seem to care.

Because Lily Evans is perfectly, glowingly, outstandingly, mind-blowingly _beautiful_. And James forgets about how he should say something to her, something rude and insensitive, and he forgets that there are so many people surrounding them, so many people between them, forgets about how he's supposed to be tough and make it look like he doesn't care that she hates him.

No. James stares, and Lily stares right back, but her eyes don't betray what she's thinking, don't betray how she's thinking that he really isn't all that bad himself, about how he looks so young and vulnerable staring at her like that, not at all like the James Potter she hated, and about how she's supposed to hate him, but really, can't see why.

**--**

**IV.**

With just a few more weeks of school left, James is desperate to at least talk to her. She's taken to looking at him, sometimes, when she thinks no one's looking. Remus does that annoying _isn't-it-obvious_ look but won't tell him, and he can't figure it out, but she's...she's not shouting at him, she's not pulling out her wand or raising her fist or hand and she's definitely not hitting him.

And the insults have gotten less frequent, too.

So when James sees her cornered in the Library, with Mulciber to the left and Avery to the right, he stops. Lily's fingers tighten around her wand, her other hand reaching for a heavy book from behind her.

They're talking, they're talking to her, too low for him to hear what, but her face hardens and her eyes grow dark and anger flares in him. In the split second it takes for Avery to raise his wand, James pointed his wand at him, and he crumpled from the silent spell. Mulciber, who was slightly slower, looked around, puzzled, and fell a second later as James and Lily both aimed their wands at him, two curses melding together dangerously.

James stares at Lily, taking in how the hand that was gripping the book tightly falls to the floor, _thumps_ loudly.

"You alright?" He asks, as if he were talking to Sirius or Remus or anyone other than Lily.

She nods, her eyes wide and her face pale white.

He inclines his head grimly, opens his mouth, but then closes it, doesn't look at Lily's eyes, or Lily at all for that matter, and turns and flies out of the Library before she sees exactly what seeing her cornered by two Death Eaters did to him.

**--**

**V.**

Lily watches him. Lily watches as James sits beneath the willow, his long fingers shredding piece after piece of grass. She watches him watch Peter gaze towards the group of sixth-year girls swimming in the lake, watches him as he looks at Remus and Sirius wrestling on the grass. She sees him lean against the rough bark, she sees him gaze at his friends, sees his eyes flicker over to her, but quickly back.

--

Remus looks like a deer caught in wand-light. Lily feels horrible.

"I've known since fourth year, Remus," she sighs. "Really, you don't have to worry."

"Lily--I--you knew and you didn't--you still--"

"I was still your friend? Don't tell me _they_ don't know." Lily gestures over to the fireplace where James, Sirius, and Peter were sprawled on the rug.

"Yes. Yes, they know." He looks like he wants to say something more, but stops.

"So? You should've realized, Remus, of all people, a girl would be the most...understanding."

"What d'you mean?" He frowns, and Lily notices how he looks so tired, remembers how it was just full moon, and feels so sorry, so hurt for him.

"We've got to deal with something every month too, Remus. Of course, not anywhere near as bad, but something you have no control over happening to you every month..."

"Um--Lily, I--" Lily laughs at his red face and stuttering.

"Relax, Remus."

He looks at her like she's insane, but then he smiles, and collapses into an armchair, and doesn't protest as she sits on the arm, leans down closer so the first years a few feet away won't hear her.

"What d'you do? Where do you go?"

"I..." He hesitates, glances over at his friends. "I go to the...Shrieking Shack, and..."

"And?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Did I?"

"No, something else."

"No, course I won't."

"It's illegal."

"Okay."

"Like, not breaking-stupid-Hogwarts-rules illegal. Illegal, _Azkaban_ illegal."

"Okay."

"James and Sirius and Peter, they...became animagi. For me. So...it would be better. So I wouldn't bite and...scratch myself, you know. So I would be more...human."

Lily blinks at him. Suddenly Remus is out of focus, suddenly Remus matters so much more than she would have thought possible.

"_James_? _James_ became an animagus?"

Remus nods. "Prongs," he says. "He's a stag. Sirius--Padfoot--is a dog. Big, black, shaggy. Wormtail--Peter--he's a rat."

"He did that for _you_? Nothing else?"

"It was James's idea, really. Sirius jumped on it, and it took them more than two years to figure it out, but they did it."

Lily takes in Remus, eternally grateful to the boys she had always thought were prats, and looks at James completely differently. She doesn't see him as the obnoxious boy who wouldn't pass her the sugar until he'd asked her out three times. She doesn't see him as an arrogant bully that enjoys torturing her friends, she doesn't see him as a big-headed Quidditch star.

She slips off the armchair, smiles slightly at Remus, murmurs a brief _thank you_.

She walks over to where the Marauders were lying in front of the fire, and she steps over Sirius to sit next to James, too close to James.

He blinks at her, and even Sirius is speechless as she smiles and opens her mouth.

"Go out with me, Potter?"


End file.
